It all starts when you begin to prepare for your childbirth. That moment when you sit down with your partner and you start rubbing your belly. You're both filled with such excitement over welcoming this new life into the world. Then, out of no where, it suddenly hits you; Like a pile of big pink and blue colored bricks! You're going to be giving birth. Now, according to all you've read on the Internet and all you've seen on those baby shows on TV you're pretty sure that birth is going to be painful. Very painful. The fear Slowly. Sets. In.
This fear becomes internalized and can be consuming. Your partner is scared too. You want to take a birthing class to prepare for your birth, but you're afraid to learn things that will make you even more anxious. Somehow you manage the courage to tackle a class anyways and you're so glad that you did.
During your class you learned so much. You feel empowered. You feel like you can do this. Your partner is totally on board as well. Thank goodness you decided to take that class after all, it was just what you needed. You received the knowledge of what to expect and how to cope, which is now taking precedence over the fear of the unknown.
During your class you learned so much. You feel empowered. You feel like you can do this. Your partner is totally on board as well. Thank goodness you decided to take that class after all, it was just what you needed. You received the knowledge of what to expect and how to cope, which is now taking precedence over the fear of the unknown.
Being afraid can only keep a hold over you if you let it. I'm sure our elementary school teachers told us that many times, along with "you can do anything you put your mind to". As cliché as those words may seem there's definitely some truth to them, especially when we're talking about childbirth. So much of the process is in your mind, which means that being fearful can really impact you in a negative way during your birth. In fact, it can be the cause of deep complications.
Remember being a child and fearing those needles at the doctor's office? You were told to relax, that it'll be ok...but you tense up and flinch, you were scared, and suddenly it's not ok. You got hurt during something that was supposed to be good for you. Often, there are times in our lives when we let fear take over and that ends up doing us more harm than good. We seem to learn that lesson many times through out our lives but it never quite sinks in because of how powerful fear can be.
Remember being a child and fearing those needles at the doctor's office? You were told to relax, that it'll be ok...but you tense up and flinch, you were scared, and suddenly it's not ok. You got hurt during something that was supposed to be good for you. Often, there are times in our lives when we let fear take over and that ends up doing us more harm than good. We seem to learn that lesson many times through out our lives but it never quite sinks in because of how powerful fear can be.
One of the things that plague many moms today is the constant worry and wonder of how they will know it is time to give birth. "When should I go in to the hospital? What signs should I look for?" Often times these questions and concerns are met with a very vague "You'll just know"....but what happens when that response just isn't enough?! What do you do with the fears and the concerns? All your worries keep adding up...just remember the things you learned in your birthing class! Like my mentor always says, You must keep calm and relax, melt like a stick of butter all over a hot slice of bread. As logical as the need to relax is, it's not something that's so easy to keep in mind as we soon find out.
The big day arrives! You finally realize that this was definitely something that "you just knew" was happening. "Hey, I guess all those vague people were on to something, but man, do these contractions hurt! I thought I was prepared, but nothing could prepare me for this!" Fear begins to take over again. The excitement of realizing you're actually in labor this time suddenly turns into a dread that the next contraction will be worse. You tense up and flinch. The next contraction WAS worse. It was really painful! That pain causes you more fear, you can't relax, and the pain gets worse. You've just entered into the Fear, Tension, Pain cycle. This cycle is all due to the complication we call Fear. Labor is hard work, it is intense, but this complication adds another layer to the intensity. Your body is trying to accomplish something to help you and to help your baby. In your moments of being scared you become tense, and that causes the body more trouble in accomplishing its goal. Your goal. Your body's goal. When you have this tension your body needs to work harder to labor. In turn, it will take longer to accomplish the entire process. Which ultimately causes it all to become more painful and tiring as you fight your body through labor.
As with any cycle, it won't cease going around and around unless you put an end to it. You could stop it at the pain and take on medication, which is fine because it'll help you relax. You could stop it at the tension and focus on relaxing, which is what your body needs. Or you can nip it at the source and overcome your fear so that you no longer tense up or cause yourself more pain. Remember that PAIN durning childbirth should be Purposeful Anticipated Intermittent and Normal!
As with any cycle, it won't cease going around and around unless you put an end to it. You could stop it at the pain and take on medication, which is fine because it'll help you relax. You could stop it at the tension and focus on relaxing, which is what your body needs. Or you can nip it at the source and overcome your fear so that you no longer tense up or cause yourself more pain. Remember that PAIN durning childbirth should be Purposeful Anticipated Intermittent and Normal!
People often wonder what it is exactly about birth that can be so empowering for women. Why is it that your birth and the experience matter? It is because of the fact that through out our birth we, as mothers today, are faced with a complication of fear that threatens to take over us completely during such an important time in our lives. This is the day we welcome this baby into the world, a time that we will never forget. Fear threatens to complicate our state of mind so that it becomes more difficult for us to give birth. Rising above this fear and holding our babies tightly after our labor is over, that right there, is what empowers us and can firmly set a foundation for a new found strength and confidence we never knew we had. Being empowered through your birth is why it matters.
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